"Do you need a bottom for your events?"

We get asked all the time if we need more bottoms for our rope events, and the truth is—it’s usually the opposite! What we really need are more riggers - or people happy to switch. This question comes up so often because there’s a natural imbalance in the rope community (especially in the early stages): there are typically more people who want to be tied than there are people available to tie them. Understanding this dynamic can make it easier for both new bottoms and new riggers to find their place, build connections, and have fulfilling experiences in the scene.

Understanding the Dynamic

1. The Appeal of Experienced Riggers

New bottoms often seek out experienced riggers, which is understandable—rope can be physically and emotionally intense, and trusting someone with skill and knowledge feels safer. However, experienced riggers are often in high demand and may already have established partnerships. This can sometimes make it difficult for newcomers to find the experiences they’re looking for.

Rather than focusing solely on finding a skilled rigger, new bottoms may have more success by engaging with the community, attending events, and forming organic connections. The more someone participates in discussions, workshops, and social spaces, the more likely they are to meet people they genuinely connect with—people who might become trusted tying partners over time.

2. New Riggers and the Challenge of Finding Partners

On the other hand, new riggers often face a different challenge: they need practice to build their skills, but they may struggle to find partners willing to tie with them. Many bottoms prefer to be tied by those with more experience, which can make it hard for new riggers to gain confidence and improve.

Patience and persistence are key. New riggers can benefit from being open about their learning process, focusing on safety, and taking advantage of opportunities to practise in low-pressure settings like rope jams and workshops. Finding practice partners who are also learning and growing can be a great way to develop skills together in a supportive environment.

Advice for New Bottoms: Engage & Learn Too!

For new bottoms, the best experiences often come from building relationships rather than simply looking for experienced riggers. Treating rope as a shared activity rather than a service can lead to deeper, more fulfilling connections.

Being a rope bottom is not just about being tied—you are active participant in the partnership! Just as riggers practise their flow and techniques, bottoms should also invest time in learning about their bodies, desires, pain processing, and communication strategies. Understanding your physical limits, how to communicate your needs, and how to safely engage in rope play can enhance both your safety and enjoyment.

This includes learning to read your body, recognising emotional triggers, and knowing when to speak up about what feels good or uncomfortable. Active self-awareness will not only improve your rope experience but also deepen your connection with your rigger. Ultimately, being an educated and engaged bottom makes you a more empowered participant in the rope journey, and can lead to more fulfilling and trusting relationships within the community.

Switching roles is another great way for bottoms to gain experience and make connections. Learning to tie as well as being tied deepens understanding, improves communication, and expands opportunities to engage with the community.

Advice for New Riggers: Keep Going!

Starting out as a rigger can be challenging, but persistence pays off. It’s important to recognise that early on, practice may involve tying with partners who aren’t necessarily romantic interests, and that’s okay. Rope practice can be completely platonic and is often most effective in a relaxed, low-pressure setting.

Being upfront about your skill level, prioritising safety, and actively engaging with the community can help new riggers find opportunities to learn. Switching roles and bottoming occasionally can also be beneficial, offering insight into the experience of being tied and strengthening communication skills.

As skills grow, so will opportunities for deeper and more meaningful rope connections. The key is to keep learning, keep engaging, and trust that experience and confidence will come with time.

Reframing rope as a shared journey

Rather than viewing rope as something to be "achieved" or treated as a hierarchy, embracing it as a shared journey makes a significant difference. Long-term partnerships where both tops and bottoms grow together can be some of the most rewarding experiences in the community.

Encouraging mentorship, skill-sharing, and open communication helps create an inclusive space where everyone can develop at their own pace. Learning about bottoming skills—such as body awareness, communication, and active participation—also contributes to a more well-rounded and supportive rope space.

Conclusion

The rope community thrives when both bottoms and riggers approach it with curiosity and a commitment to growth. The imbalance between bottoms seeking to be tied and the demand for riggers highlights the importance of rethinking how we engage. For bottoms, instead of asking "Does anyone need a bottom?" it could be more useful to ask, "What do I want out of rope? What do I want out of a rope partnership?" By investing in your own development—understanding your bodies, desires, limits, and communication—as a bottom you can create deeper, more fulfilling experiences and form meaningful connections.

For new riggers, it’s essential to embrace the early stages of your journey. Recognise that it’s not always easy, and sometimes you’ll be tying with people you're not necessarily romantically attracted to. This is okay—rope is about practice, connection, and growth, not just about romantic or sexual chemistry. Over time, persistence, communication, and patience will help you find your rhythm and create fulfilling partnerships.